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04/07/04  Lies! Lies! and MORE Lies!

Holy shit! The more that I deal with females, the more lies that I realize that women tell on a regular basis....I was on the phone line the other day and I met this girl who said that she was 24 years old, 5'7", 145 pounds, hazel eyes, brown skinned, and this was the kicker....She said that she had HER OWN HOUSE in MANHATTAN, NEW YORK.....For anybody who has a clue about real estate, you would know that someone has to have some Major Money to be able to own a home in Manhattan, especially when 1 bedroom apartments are running over $1,000 a month there. So I was kind of impressed with her. She had a 607 area code and I said that area code doesn't sound like an area code in the Manhattan area. If she said 212 or 718 I might believe it....She said that 607 covers Manhattan also....I believed her because with all of the new cell phone services, I knew that new area codes are created to help ease the demand on phone numbers....It happened here in my area also....Plus when I did a Google search engine on the area code, the first thing I saw in the results was "New York" so I figured that she was telling the truth....I should have looked into what part of new york that area code covered but I didn't.

I was drunk and high at the time that I first talked to her so we had "phone sex" if you can call it that. She was talking all kinds of shit about how she needed a man in her life and how she couldn't find what she wanted in New York. I asked her how a 24 year old woman with her own HOUSE in Manhattan with her physical description couldn't find a man in all of New York City and she said that she didn't like the men in her area (red flag #1)......When a woman who is in a supposed "big city" and can't find a man and is willing to talk sex talk with people who don't even live in her state could mean a few things....#1, she is lying about how she looks...#2, she is really a man who is acting like a woman OR......#3, she really has a man and she's just on the phone to talk shit that she never has to back up because the men live out of state....

But like I said, I was drunk and high and horny and I like to talk nasty shit on the phone while I'm smoking, watching porn videos, and jacking my dick off....You might say that I'm a loser for jacking off and not getting some real pussy but you have to realize that I already make money from pussy and I know that sticking my dick in any random pussy can get a nigga in some MAJOR trouble in no time...Therefore, I masturbate a lot and I'm proud of it.......So anyway, she knew just what to say to get me horny...She talked about how she wanted to suck my dick and balls for two straight days and how she wanted to take care of a nigga and give him the keys to her house so that he could come visit anytime he wanted and yadda yadda....

Before I believe anything, I want to see a picture of the girl so I asked her for one and she said that she would have to send it from work the next day....The next day, I made sure to keep on her ass about emailing me a picture....Well what do you know? She said that she had to "scan" her picture and then she said that the scanner at her job was broken....(um hum).......My Bullshit-O-Meter sounds an alarm and I tell her that I'm not even going to talk to her on the phone anymore until I see who I'm talking to...She then says that she has a picture in the Yahoo Personals section and she gives me her username and password so that I could login and see her personals profile....The picture is the one that you see at the top of this page and she doesn't look too bad...EXCEPT those shoulders are kind of wide for a woman in my opinion...PLUS she took the picture with her hand in front of her chin....This is the year 2004.....NOBODY still takes pictures with a fist in front of their chin UNLESS they're trying to hide something like a chin cleft or an adams apple underneath...So now I'm getting kind of suspicious but her voice sounds good and I want to believe what the woman says.

We were talking for a couple of days and I was able to ask her more questions....In my questioning, it came out that the woman doesn't actually live in Manhattan...She said that she was telling me that in case that I was a stalker...She said that she really lived an hour outside of Manhattan in the Suburbs...Even though houses in the suburbs of Manhattan are cheaper, it STILL costs a lot of money to have a house there...So I told her that I understood why she said that and I was REALLY looking forward to seeing her then because I'd love to have access to a house in the suburbs of Manhattan...I could really do some damage up there.......

Then while we were talking, I asked her for her address...She gave me the address and the city but I don't think she knew the power of the internet because I went to mapquest.com and typed in her address and found out some things....For one, I found out that the girl doesn't live an hour outside of Manhattan...She lives THREE AND A HALF HOURS AWAY!....Before I tell her what mapquest told me, I asked her once again if she commuted to work everyday in New York City and she said "yes"...I then told her that mapquest says that she's three hours away from Manhattan and THEN she says that she takes the Amtrak "two hours" each way to the city. I tell her that the train can't cut an hour and a half off of the commute time and that I think that she doesn't even really work in Manhattan...Once she's caught in her lie, she tries to brush it off as something that doesn't really matter anyway and that I now knew her "real" address and that everything else that she said was true...But I know if a bitch will lie about some little shit, you can't believe anything that comes out of the girl's mouth....

I also asked her why her Yahoo dating profile said that her age was 36 and she told me that she was 24...She tried to tell me that she wanted to attract older men and that saying she was 36 would get the older men...I told her that was bullshit...NO WOMAN who is 24 years old would LIE and say that she's 36 years old...That's ridiculous...I know damn well that men in their 80's would have no problem talking to a woman who was 24 years old and I told her this...After she realized that she couldn't get over on me with that bullshit, she then said "Does my age really matter?"....I said HELL YEAH it matters....There is a big difference between a 24 year old woman with her own house in Manhattan and a 36 year old woman with a house in some bubbafuck part of upstate New York.....Everything was falling into place and I already knew that this woman was full of shit...

I talked about this "talk a nigga to death" syndrome in one of my other posts....This woman wants to talk and talk and talk and talk and talk all day and night long but when it comes to backing the shit up, the hoe disappears....She would call me all fucking day and try to talk to me all night...Sometimes I would talk to her until four in the morning if I was high enough....But then, I got tired of the talking. I wanted to see who this girl was and I wouldn't be satisfied until I saw her....

This woman was out of her mind...She would try to call me and actually check me if I had company and couldn't talk to her at the time. And she would bitch if I didn't want to talk to her one night because I was tired. I tell her "I talked to you yesterday until 4 in the morning...Why are you bitching about tonight?"...She would try to do all of this whining that women like to do and I told her straight up that my ex-wife lives in Wisconsin and this bitch was not my wife and she has NO RIGHT to try to check me about what I'm doing in my own home and I haven't even met this female...Fuck that...Nobody is going to run me like that....So one night I told her that I didn't feel like talking anymore and that I had to see her in person before our phone relationship went any farther...She bitched and moaned and said to me that, "You treat women like shit." and stuff like that and I told her that it's nothing personal but she has to prove that she is who she says she is before I waste hours on the phone with her and will listen to her bitch about me having female company over my house and shit like that.....

We then agreed that she was supposed to come see me this past Sunday. She said that her mother was driving here to meet somebody else and that she was going to drop her over my house for the afternoon so that we could see each other in person and get to know each other...She tried to get me to tell her my address and I said that all she had to do was come to my city and call me on the cell phone and THEN I would come meet her and bring her to my house. I wasn't about to give my address out to a potential faker over the phone....

So on the Saturday before she was supposed to come, I had a friend of mine over for the night and we were grilling steaks and had some rice-a-roni and corn on the side...Me and my female friend were having a nice evening when this lying bitch called me on the phone and wanted to talk...I told her that a friend of mine was over my house and we were cooking and that she was to call me the next morning before she left...She tried to bitch at me saying shit like, "That must be a very special friend if she's over your house cooking" and shit like that...I told her straight up that I wasn't trying to hear that nonsense and I was about to sit down and eat.....She hung up on me and then called me less than two hours later and I told her that I was STILL busy and that she was to call me in the morning and let me know before she left...I PROMISED that I would be right by the phone when she called me that morning...I asked her when she was leaving and she said 6 a.m....I said that I would be up and to call me before she left....

This scenario that I put her in was the "put up or shut up" scenario...I told her that I wouldn't talk hours on the phone with her until she came to see me and she promised that she would come on the weekend...She tried to call me ALL FUCKING WEEK and shoot the shit with me on the phone but I wasn't having it.....So I was asleep in the bed with my female friend...My stomach was full from the grilled steak...My female friend had just spent hours caressing and kissing all over my body and I was passed out sleep....All of a sudden, my cell phone rings and it's the lying bitch....She doesn't call me at 6 am like she said...she calls me at FOUR a.m......Since I have the phone right by my ear and I pick it up and she tries to be cynical with me and says that she is about to leave...I tell her that I'll be here and to call me when she gets in town...

I wake up later that morning and I tell my friend that some woman from New York said that she was coming down to see me...The girl got nervous and asked me "Do I have to leave when she comes?" and I tell her that the bitch is lying and that nobody is really going to come down and see me because I knew that she was bullshitting all along....

So do you think that the girl showed up?  HELL NO......And I haven't heard from her since....Why?....Because she knows that her cover has been blown and that she would get nothing but a cussing out if she called me now...She knew that I was on to her game from day one and she can't bring herself to try to call me and explain herself....Some people say that I'm mean...Some people say that I'm an asshole...But being an asshole saved me HOURS AND HOURS of time that I would have wasted.....Plus I didn't spend any money on long distance or any wear and tear on my car to drive to go see her....

Being an asshole WORKS folks! I'm not an asshole to everybody but once a female starts with the bullshit, I let her know that I won't tolerate it right off the top..If she doesn't like it, she can step off...But if she really understands why I had to check her, she'll realize that she shouldn't be bullshitting with me and that she needs to come correct...I'm the nicest guy in the world...Just don't give me any shit because I'll check you quick fast! 

So the moral of the story is to cut the shit! There's nothing wrong with a "lil white lie" to protect your privacy but there is a difference between little white lies and BOLDFACED LIES! If the woman didn't want me to know what city she lived in, she didn't have to say that she lived in Manhattan...She could have said that she lived in Syracuse, New York or something like that...It would have been more believable...Three and a half hours away from a city is a long stretch to claim that you live in that city's metro area...There are a LOT of big cities that I could claim that are 3 1/2 hours away and less but I don't claim it because I DON'T FUCKING LIVE THERE!....

And I still think that she's really a  man who is covering up.....The voice sounded feminine but ya never know..

So to all of y'all females that have hit me up so far, I welcome your conversation...And to that sexy young tender chocolate female from Brooklyn that sent me a message today, we gotta get together baby....You're perfect!...Young, slim with a big bootie, cute, willing to explore your fantasies with an older man like me, etc. etc......My internet connection has been down a lot tonight and I am currently not able to login to yahoo messenger as of the time I'm writing this, but I'll get that number and call you tomorrow sometime as soon as my internet connection works again....

And to any other females out there in cyberspace, click that button below and send me a message so I can save you as a chatfriend...Bigups to the girl from Virginia Beach, Atlanta, New Orleans, Bronx, DC, Maryland, Virginia Beach, and Florida....I love all of my female readers....Get at me baby!

Now it's time for me to go into the kitchen and prepare my fried catfish and pinto bean dinner....umm ummm.

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