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06/14/04     You mean to tell me that you don't even have SIXTY MUTHAFUCKING CENTS in your pocket?

I'm dying a slow death. I live in a shit town and I'm surrounded by SHIT FEMALES! Every last female that I know is broke and struggling. I don't even have the opportunity to even meet and get REJECTED by a female with some money because there are so few of them around here....Now I know why the more money you have, the more problems you get because how can a nigga have any fun if nobody around me can afford to do shit?

There was a female who I went to pick up at her mama's house the other night...I shouldn't have done it and she said that she would give me a blowjob so I said fuck it and went to get her. Now this bitch already owes me $100 from a few months ago back when she disappeared on me and she said that it was because somebody in her house stole it and bought some crack with it, but she sure didn't have my money with her when I went to see her. But like I said, she was gonna give me a blowjob and I made sure that she would give me one because I ASKED her if she would before I went to get her.

I had taken the money out of my wallet for another reason and I didn't have any money in my wallet when I went to go get her...The girl likes to have her hair done and have nice clothes and always look good. And she also always like to smoke but she NEVER has any herbs of her own to bring over so that I can smoke with her. She doesn't have herbs, blunts, liquor, a car, her own place, nor does she have any money. So that means that I have to provide everything...But I didn't have any money on me and I had run out of blunts so we needed to go to the store to get a blunt. I told her that I didn't have money in my wallet but I had the herbs and the drink at home and all I needed from her was SIXTY CENTS to go buy a blunt from the store. Can you believe that this bitch didn't even have SIXTY FUCKING CENTS in her pocket? She gave me like 35 cents in dimes and nickles and I was able to scrape up the rest of the change from the floor of my car. So between both of us, we were barely able to scrape up 60 cents for a blunt. While we were still in the car, I thought to myself, "Why the fuck am I with a female that doesn't even have sixty cents in her pocket"? But this night, it didn't matter. We got to the house and I rolled the blunt, we smoked it, and then we went upstairs and she sucked me off swell. But because she didn't even have 60 cents, I was kind of offended when she asked me to suck her titties first. How the fuck are you gonna ask me to suck your titties when you don't even have SIXTY FUCKING CENTS to your name?

We got up the next morning and there was no way in hell that I was going to buy her any breakfast from McDonalds. I was disgusted with her. I just dropped her hungry ass back off at her mama's house and I haven't seen her since. Yeah she's called me but now I ask her if she has anything to bring with her and when she says no, I tell her that when she scrapes up something, let me know and I'll come get her. I'll NEVER go get her again unless she either has my money that she owes me or at least brings some liquor or herbs over to help the night come off right. 

Speaking of blunts, let me plug these folks real quick who run blunts.com. I was just complaining to someone how expensive single blunts at the corner store are and the next day, I get two boxes of free blunts from these folks. I got a box of 25 cognac blunt wraps and a box of 25 multi-flavored wraps. They're great and I suggest that all of you go there and buy you some blunts of your own. Just click the picture below and it will take you to where you can order some for yourself.

Back to the story, that's not the only female that has been pissing me off. I have another homegirl who I'm cool with. I always smoke big herbs with her and I pay for it most of the time. I buy her beer and cigarettes and I burn gas driving her places. Plus I may give her a little Ganja out of my sack if I just bought a big sack for the weekend if she asks me for it. And this is AFTER we smoked 2-3 blunts out of the sack....Just yesterday, I bought a 12 piece of chicken from Church's Chicken and I fed her and all of her kids and her mama. Then I took her to my crib where she was able to take a shower and relax and smoke out with me. But then she tells me of how she was able to find a big ass sack of greens that somebody dropped and she shows it to me..Now it's a FAT sack and I barely had any Ganja left with me because we had smoked most of it the past few days...So I ask the girl for the sack and she won't give it to me but she gives me a scrawny ass amount of herbs out of that big ass sack. I mean it was barely enough for a thin blunt. Now remember, this is while the Fried Chicken that I bought was still digesting in her and her kids stomachs. I didn't say shit and I took the little bit that she gave me. Then after awhile I took her back home.

Then today, I'm sitting here with no weed to smoke and my plutonic female friend calls me and asks me what's up. I tell her that my homegirl got a big ass sack but she only left me a cigarello's worth. She asked me why I settled for so little when she's supposed to be my homegirl and after all that I've done for her and it got me to thinking...I think she told me this because for one, she needed to tell me that because it was common sense and for two, I had flipped the fuck out on my plutonic friend like two months ago and I guess she figured that if she could catch wrath like that, then the girl who is supposed to be my homegirl should DEFINITELY get it. So I said that I would call her and ask her for some and when I got it, I would call my friend back so that we could hang out and smoke.

I call my homegirl and ask her to give me the sack of Ganja. She tells me that she sold most of it. I tell her to give me the REST of what she has left. She then says to me "Show me some money." I was like WHAT!...I then ran down all of the shit that I did for her that actually cost me some money. I told her about the $2.00 a gallon gas I was burning to go pick her up from work. I told her about the money I spend on weed, liquor, beer, cigarettes, food, and all other kinds of shit that she got. I pointed out to her how when she took me out for my birthday (which she paid for), she then asked me for some money to put on her cell phone bill because they were about to cut it off. So in essence I ended up paying for my own fucking birthday date...Then I told her that the next time she asks me for ANYTHING, that I'm going to give her the same answer. "SHOW ME THE FUCKING CASH!"...I told her that it costs money to sit up in my house and watch cable. That shit ain't free. I gotta PAY for rent on this house and I gotta PAY for the cable. I gotta PAY for all of the shit that she likes to have to make her feel good. The girl smokes cigarettes down to the filter so that if I go behind her in the ashtray to find a cigarette butt, I CAN'T FIND ONE because all I would be smoking is the foam filter. She smokes blunts down to the nub so I can't go behind her in the ashtray for some roaches and roll me a nice spliff. She drinks beer, but she doesn't drink the cheap Malt Liquor that I drink. She has to have Corona and Budweiser and shit like that. I drink King Cobra Malt Liquor and if it's good enough for me, it's good enough for her. 

And after all of that shit I gave her on the phone, she said that she would just give me the sack but I didn't have to try to clown her. I told her that I shouldn't have to clown her in the first place because the shit should be AUTOMATIC....If I've been hooking you up and it's been costing me money that I earned. You for damn sure better give me half of some shit that you found and got for FREE! I understand that she could sell it and make some money and I understand that she works a minimum wage job but fuck that! She FOUND that shit and she should give it to me without all of the bullshit...

And to be honest, she said that I tried to clown her but the little tongue lashing that she got wasn't shit. I gave her a PG-13 rated clowning, and I have different levels of ignorance that I can bring out...They are as follows.

G                I calmly explain to a girl how she is fucking up and in a nice way I try to guide her mind in the right direction and get her to do shit that she is supposed to be doing in the first place.

PG              I tell her in a stern manner that she is fucking up but I'm still nice about it. Most girls can't get the fucking point so I have to escalate my shit.

PG-13        This is what she got. I got loud with her and I used curse words but I wasn't cursing at her specifically. I would say stuff like "Fuck That". but I won't say shit like "Fuck YOU".

R                I'm Loud and I'm cursing at her and calling her a Bitch and whatever else flies out of my mouth. I have gotten to the point to where if I get to this level, I won't even mess with the girl anymore. If she's getting the Rated R clowning, she's already on her way out the door.

XX             Open hand slaps and body blows. But I only do this in self defense. My ex-wife would get hella ignorant and would throw shit at me and break shit in the house and try to scratch my face up. So I might have to give her a blow or two to get her off of me. But I don't try to do anything that leaves a mark and I wouldn't just haul off and hit a woman for no reason. But I don't care what you say. Sometimes a woman brings it to that point and when a woman is in that state of mind, she doesn't give a fuck if the kids are there or what will happen to her later. She's just going to wile the fuck out and worry about the consequences later. I'm not a violent person and I hope to never get to this level with a woman again. It isn't worth it because even if the Man didn't start it, he'll go to jail...I got hauled off to jail because she wouldn't leave MY house and she fell and scraped her knees on the porch as I dragged her out of my house. Ain't that some shit? But I didn't get probation or jail time due to a nice plea. All I had to pay was a fine and I get my record expunged after a year. I'll NEVER get in a situation where I have to go double XX on somebody.

XXX            I've NEVER reached this level but I could see myself reaching it because my ex-wife used to do shit to me that would have gotten her killed if I wouldn't have gone to jail for it. At this level, it would be the cursing, closed fist blows, and possibly a gun or a knife to finish it off...But if a man lets himself get to this level, he's a weak man. I didn't let myself get there and now that I'm divorced, I get along with my ex-wife a LOT better now that we don't live together. I'm glad too because I don't ever want to have another argument with her although I know it won't happen. She's my babymomma and I love her. I just can't live with her or I'll wring her neck. 

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So my point was that what I said to my homegirl wasn't shit to what I COULD have said. I'm a nice person and I am basically a square. I do porn for a living but I like to live the square life where I'm wearing designer sweaters and eating pudding and shit like that. I don't want to live the "street life" at all because it isn't for me...But because of my niceness, a lot of these girls in the hood think that they can get over on a nigga and they don't realize it until I end up flipping on them. With these girls, you can't depend on them to do the right and honorable thing. You can't depend on them to be appreciative and to remember what you do for them because when they come up on some cash or some weed or liquor, you can bet your bottom dollar that they will NOT want to share it with you. I'm not saying that it happens all of the time but in general, I've realized that you can only do so much for a female before they start EXPECTING you to do the shit and when the shoe is on the other foot, they won't do it for you. So that is why I have to get loud and start clowning people because honestly, that's the only thing that these females will respect. I don't deal with some soft white women in the suburbs. I deal with black girls in the hood and the girls around here are on some "take take" greedy shit and because of this, every once in awhile, you gotta remind these girls what they're supposed to be doing. I'm not saying it's a bad thing because even if the girl might get pissed off if you start clowning on her, deep down, she'll respect it and she'll come in line and do what she's supposed to do....I love my plutonic female friend and I hope to be around her for years to come but she grew up spoiled and is used to have people doing all kinds of shit for her while asking for nothing in return and I'm not mad at her for that. If these men out here are willing to do shit like that it's all good, just as long as they don't realize that they can't treat ALL of their male friends like that...I don't even think of that shit anymore with I'm chillin out with her and I still love my girl as much as I always have. 

Anyway, I was able to go over to her cousins house and pick up a fat sack of free Ganja and now everything is cool with me and my big bootied homegirl. But now I realized that I have to change my approach a little bit. I can be nice but I can't be TOO NICE with anybody. All I ask for is mutual respect. If I can get that and I don't feel like I'm being played or that my Male Ego is being jeopardized, I'm cool....

And I'm nice and buzzed right now thanks to my big bootied homegirl. And I have plenty of weed to smoke with my female plutonic friend who has brought me stuff that she came up on for a long time. I like her because she understands me and respects me most of the time. Yeah she runs her mouth a little bit too much but all women do that. It's just in the genes. 

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