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04/26/04     Thanks for the hospitality.

A little over a month ago, I got a yahoo message from a woman who was referred to MrNoGood by an old friend of mine who chats on AOL.  My old friend put a link up to this site within the chatroom and told people to take a look at the site...This woman, who we'll call "Scorpio" checked out the site and liked what she read. In fact, she told me that she fell on the floor laughing as soon as she started reading the site..It just happens that this woman lives a two hour drive away from me.  So we started chatting some more and then we started talking on the phone.  She has a nice personality so we were talking about all kinds of shit....We would be up in the middle of the night talking and laughing on the phone.  Sometimes I would be sitting here bored and I would get drunk and high and call her and talk shit while I was masturbating. She was always willing to talk some shit back to me and she would do it for a long time until I finally ejaculated and then mumbled something about needing to go to sleep and hanging up....So since she lives so close to me, we decided to meet each other in person.

Since I'm the Man, of course I have to make the first move and drive down there to see her. She has a nice cozy three bedroom home in a nice quiet neighborhood and there aren't too many Niggas in it, which is a plus....I pulled into her driveway and knocked on the door and a 42 year old chocolate skinned big booty female opens the door...We all know that a 42 year old woman normally ain't no spring chicken...But this woman had some nice naturally long hair and pretty smooth skin and a BIG BOOTY...

I gotta get my "Hello Hug" in and I got a nice strong squeeze on her......One of the good things about a 42 year old woman is that she knows how to make a man comfortable and stroke his ego and I'll tell you that this woman is a PROFESSIONAL at it...The first thing she did was give me a tour of the home and then she took me to the TV room, told me to have a seat on her leather loveseat, gave me the remote control, sat down and chatted with me for a minute, and then said that she was about to go to the kitchen and make dinner....Now THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!....I brought some "Sailor Jerry" 92 proof rum with me and I had some weed and even though she doesn't smoke weed, she allowed me to relax on her couch and smoke my weed and get a buzz on from the rum while she made dinner....She offered me something to drink and she had all kinds of flavors of juices and teas in her refrigerator for me to choose from. I only left a corner of the White Grape/Peach juice in the fridge and I was about to finish off the concord grape juice (sorry baby). And don't get me started on that good ass tea..I forgot what flavor it was but it was good. 

I meet a lot of women and most of them don't even have their own place to live and don't have a job either...If they do have their own place, it's living with their boyfriend...And if they do have their own place, they sure don't have anything extra like electricity and cable and food in the fridge, etc. etc...But Scorpio had DirectTV and I was happy like a muthafucka as I flicked the channels. I watched an episode of Kojak and that was a damn good show! I'm gonna have to see if I can catch a few more episodes of it....Kojak was really a kool muthafucka for real.....ANYWAY.....

Scorpio was a cook in the Army and all of that cooking has burned her out and she's sick of cooking now but even though she doesn't like to cook, she cooked me a NICE meal of fried fish, fresh stir fried green beans, and candied yams...I was starving and that food looked good as hell and I couldn't wait to inhale that food. She likes spicy food since she was stationed in Korea during her stint in the army and I love spicy food myself...When I was eating the fish, I thought I was eating catfish....It tasted like catfish, but I looked at the filet and I said to myself WAY in the back of my mind, "Damn that's a big ass piece of catfish". And "That's an unusually shaped catfish filet"....I've seen big pieces of catfish but this piece was HUGE. Plus it was more smooth and rounded than a regular piece of catfish. It turns out that I was eating a fish called "Rex Sole". It's a Vietnamese fish and I swear to God, it's an improved version of catfish and I LOVE catfish. It was lighter and flakier and milder tasting than regular catfish and you didn't have that skin side on the other side like you do on catfish...When you put your fork through it, the fork cut cleanly through and it wasn't dry at all.......The green beans were nice and spicy with some Mongolian Fire oil that she put on it. I ended up licking the rest of the sauce off of my part of the plate where the green beans used to be....The Candied yams were a perfect texture and had the perfect sweetness and just enough syrup to satisfy me...Now I think about it, I should have asked for some lemon juice to sprinkle over it...That would have been great.

I ended up eating the whole thing except two pieces of candied yams that I couldn't force down my throat. I was FULL.....I told her that I had to go ahead and admit to her that I had a disease....I told her that I have "Black Man's Disease", aka "Nigga-itis"...It's a disease that causes extreme sleepiness no matter where the fuck you happen to be at the time and I was falling fast into CHRONIC Nigga-itis.....To help ward off the effects of this terrible disease, she offered to drive me around....So after dinner, she drove me around the city to take a look at the good and bad parts of town and I was able to get some fresh air and wake up a little bit....Then when we got back, she put in the "Jackass The Movie" DVD and I laughed my fucking ass off! That was some funny ass shit. The best one was when there were two white dudes and one black dude sitting in an office...Two jackasses crashed through the ceiling with some Ninja outfits on like they were about to take hostages or kill people....As soon as the nigga saw those ninjas hit the floor, he was out of his chair and out of the building...They had a camera on the front of the building so you could see the nigga burst out the front door and SPRINT down the street.....In the meantime, the two white dudes were still standing there frozen looking at the ninjas...They had to go catch the black dude down the street and tell him it was a joke while the white people learned from the Ninjas....If it WASN'T a joke, those white boys would have been dead while the black dude would have been on the news telling the story about how he got the fuck outta there....All I'm saying is that if you haven't seen Jackass the movie, see it. I was laughing so hard I was screaming. 

After the movie, we realized that half of the Soprano's was over so while we watched the other half, I had to rub on those chocolate smooth "breast-esses" of hers........bla bla bla bla blablabla...yakkety smackety...blaba bla bla blabla........

I woke up the next day around noon and she cooked me a nice big breakfast ......I smoked a little more weed and drank a little more rum and the big breakfast brought on the disease symptoms again....I was going to leave out around two this afternoon and she told me that she invited a friend of hers to come over and meet me. The woman was an attractive 30 year old lean brown skinned woman with a nice set of breasts on her  and Scorpio told me that she was a MASTER cook......I chatted with them for a little bit but I couldn't stay awake so I went back to the bedroom to take an hour nap.....I got up and even though I didn't want to leave, I knew that I had some work to do at home so I went ahead and left...Scorpio told me that if I was going to stay tonight, she was going to make me some chicken gumbo...Now i'm wishing I was still there because it's dinner time and I'm eating a Two piece special from Church's Chicken when I could be eating some Chicken Gumbo right now

Scorpio, I want to thank you for your hospitality. You didn't know me from dirt, besides reading what I write on this website and you were willing to make me feel welcome at your home. I really had a good time hanging out with you and I'll definitely be coming back. You are a beautiful woman, inside and out.

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