Click Here To Get Some EASY Bootie Call! I use it. So Can You!

04/24/04   Some things you gotta keep to yourself

I was here getting high and getting ready to write a completely different story when I got a phone call from one of my closest female friends in the world. She told me that one of her "tricks", some old white man that is desperate for her love and gives her money in return for absolutely NO sexual favors, is gay. Even though he is a trick, he is still a friend of the family and he's gotten her out of some pinches by giving her hundreds of dollars at a time. He fixes her car for free, he buys her and her kids all kinds of shit for the household, and he even comes to take out her trash. So he is still a good friend of hers. She tells me that she was using his cell phone and listening to a message or something and he started getting fidgety and looking nervous. This behavior alerted her and she went ahead and listened to some messages on his voicemail that she wasn't supposed to listen to.

It turns out that one of the messages was from some black dude who was leaving a message because he was mad that he didn't get his dick sucked as planned. He didn't actually say that on the message but my friend said that his language made it seem like that is what he wanted....Then the old white dude went into a tirade about how he wasn't gay and this and that and whatever. She told him that it didn't matter and it didn't change her opinion of him and that SHE WOULDN'T TELL ANYBODY ABOUT IT. 

Now I've had my run-ins with this old dude because he gets jealous because she comes over to my house to hang out with me. He used to live up the street from me so he used to watch who comes and goes from the house. One day he was mad at her for something and he tried to say that he was going to tell the police about me because he sees the police hanging out on our street. The police are actually watching a house down the street from me that wholesales dope. I know because they have raided the house more than once....But what made me mad is that he was threatening to try to make ME hot with the police and I wasn't having that shit. I asked for his phone number and I called him and left a Tony Soprano "offer you can't refuse" style message on his voicemail and that scared the shit out of him, making him apologize to the girl and telling her that he was just playing with her and that he would NEVER even think of making me hot with the cops. She even listened to the message that I left and when she heard it, she knew why he retracted his statement.

The point of the previous paragraph was to explain that I am don't have any love for the man at all. He's a fucking pest and a jealous crippled old cracker. But I STILL didn't want to hear about him being gay?....Why?  Because she told the man that she wouldn't tell ANYBODY...I pointed this out to her and she said that she really meant that she wouldn't tell "anybody that he knows"....I don't know the man but I'm acquainted with him in a way due to the run-in with him. What if she told me about him being gay two weeks ago right before she told me about him threatening me with the police? I would have probably added dicksucking fact within my voicemail message to him after I found out...

I love the girl...I love her to death and she's my closest friend. But I know that there are certain things that I can never tell her. What if I robbed a bank? What if I killed somebody that REALLY deserved it and had them buried somewhere and told her about it? What if I had a high scale Marijuana grow operation in my basement? What if I was shipping tons of cocaine in from Panama?....The point is that there are things in this world that you don't tell anybody NO MATTER WHAT....

What if one day she told one of her close friends who happens to sell cocaine for a living that I murdered somebody and had them buried in my backyard? Just for shits and giggles....The dude knows who I am and he probably wouldn't even care and would put it to the back of his mind...But what if this cocaine dealer gets busted one day and he wants to save his ass? You know what he's going to do? He's going to scream, I KNOW A PORNOGRAPHER WHO HAS MURDERED A NIGGA AND HAS HIM BURIED IN HIS BACKYARD!!! SAVE MY ASS AND I'LL LEAD YOU RIGHT TO HIM!! 

People go to JAIL for slips of the mouth between "friends". People go to JAIL for the innocent "pillow talk" between lovers...If you tell somebody that you won't tell anybody, mean it. 

Disclaimer: I don't have a nigga buried in my backyard, nor have a grow operation in my basement, nor am I shipping kilos of cocaine from panama, nor have I robbed a bank so don't even go there.

Click Here Or Hit The Back Button To Go Back To Main Page